How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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