My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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