It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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