Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize