if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
