yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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