mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
