He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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