Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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