Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
