Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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