Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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