But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
