Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
