No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
