Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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