hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
