TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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