why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
