i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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