in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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