We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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