Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize