mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize