apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize