Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
