please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm passing your future prison.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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