So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Less talking, more tequila
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
