I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
