Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
