i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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