I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
