what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
