Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
