she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
