I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can I color on your dick again?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
