Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
