i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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