I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
