we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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