this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
