and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
