There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
