I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
