Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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