what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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