I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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