I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
