I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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