He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
