Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize