Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
