Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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