3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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