The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
