I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I just sharted jello shots
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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