Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
