Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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