No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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