Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
