As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
