So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
