Your dad touched me again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
