there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize