I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
