I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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