i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
