my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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