I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
