Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
