went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
