i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
