...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
