The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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