Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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