please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
