Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
